Hey, it’s been a little since my last post, and since then a lot has happened, so much that I haven’t been able to talk about, so much shit. So much hate, death, and nazis. I have been degrading daily, I am getting close to a new ATL. Feeling suicidal again, but going to the doctor to fix my meds takes so much energy, and causes so much stress I just don’t care to do it. I’m using all of my remaining sanity not to cut, I want to sink into my bed and call it quits. I feel like I have failed, I feel like everyone is disappointed in me, and I want to die. I need help but I don’t like it when people feel concerned for me, I don’t like therapy because talking about my feelings with someone else is hard.
You know when you are typing concerning shit when Grammarly is worried.
Next time I’m feeling suicidal I will call a helpline.